Confidence. It’s a word that can change a person’s life. It can make you into the person that you always were but that the world has deemed you unable to be. Today I want to help you become that person. I want you to feel like you can walk into a coffee shop and strike up a conversation with the cute boy sitting at the table next to you. I want you to be able to walk down the street with your head high and heels clicking because darling, you most certainly can. With a few tips and tricks you’ll be striding into life as though it’s a runway and you’re a Victoria’s Secret model.
1) Fake it Until You Make it
Okay, so you’ve probably heard this phrase so often that it has lost meaning. But let’s really dive into what faking it until you make it really says. Have you ever laughed at a joke that wasn’t funny just to be polite? How about smiling and nodding at someone who is talking to you but you’re clearly not listening? We’ve all been there and these are all variations of faking it. In these cases, we are faking a laugh or smile in order to allow people to feel like they are interesting or funny. This doesn’t mean that they aren’t, it just means that by instinct we want these people to feel validated. So why don’t we use the same tactic to change how we feel about ourselves? Is it a crime to tell ourselves we are beautiful and strong even if we don’t believe it? NO! We are just working up to making ourselves feel the same way we want to make others feel; funny, interesting, and beautiful. Eventually these thoughts and validations will become real and you will ‘make it’ as the phrase says. If you ever come across something that you think you “can’t” do, tell yourself that you CAN. Faking it until you make it means getting out of your comfort zone even when you think that it is impossible to do so. Nothing is or should be impossible for you; afterall the word itself spells “I’m possible.” If you don’t believe in yourself and your amazing talents, skills, and abilities then no one will. I understand that believing in yourself is hard but that is why I am telling you to FAKE it. Jump into situations with the confidence of someone who knows everything and the curiosity of someone who wants to learn more. Make it a habit to tell yourself that you’re beautiful and strong until they become a part of how you actually see yourself.
2) Self Reflection
This tip is one that I used a lot when I was younger. I always struggled with those quizzes that have questions like ‘Describe yourself in one word’ with a list of adjectives like ‘Outgoing’, ‘Shy’, ‘Funny’ etc. I would get stumped on this question and begin the process of trying to pinpoint exactly what I am within these words. I came to realize that I can be more than one of these adjectives but by reflecting on characteristics that make me who I am, I was better able to understand not only who I am now, but the type of person I want to be. So, take some time and reflect on yourself. You can write in a journal or just sit outside and think. Think about the ways that you react to situations, how you act around friends, and most importantly, how you want to see yourself. This is critical because once you know yourself, you have a way better chance of being confident in your own skin. Your strengths and weaknesses are what you want to play up and work on so it’s best to find out exactly what those are now so you can walk into any room and use your sassy sense of humour or your mysterious charm to your advantage. It is so important to know what your weaknesses are and to NOT ignore them. Identify them and work on turning those weaknesses into strengths. Make a list of these weaknesses and everyday try to do something that will help you overcome them and in turn, this will allow you to be more confident.
3) Surround yourself with people you love
Okay so this may seem obvious to most people but a lot of the time you unknowingly let the wrong people stay in your life. I, myself, have had a situation where I surrounded myself with people who I thought were the best friends in the world. Now don’t get me wrong, these people never did anything to personally make me feel bad about myself but their interests and hobbies were vastly different from mine. I started noticing that I felt like I didn’t have the right sense of humour for our conversations and my input was not valued because we didn’t think similarly. This took a huge toll on my confidence because I thought that being myself was not appealing to the people I cared for most. BUT you have to understand that this was not the case! I WANT YOU GUYS TO LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES HERE SO LISTEN UP. If the people you are surrounded by make you feel like being 100% yourself is not good enough, there is a problem. These people aren’t bad friends by any means, they just aren’t your perfect match! They aren’t your friend soulmates so to speak.
So PLEASE, even if it’s hard and you are in this situation, branch out and meet new people. You don’t have to have a million friends to feel confident. Just having one or two friends that you can 100% trust no matter what and be yourself with could possibly be the most important thing in life. Once you find them, don’t ever let them go. These friends are like diamonds, extremely precious and rare. Find people who value you and every inch of your personality because those are the people who will make you feel confident about yourself! And in the meantime you always have your best blog friends, S & B, to talk to!
There you have it friends! These are S & B’s top 3 tips for gaining confidence in yourself! Just remember we can all have the confidence of Blair Waldorf and Serena Van Der Woodsen. It is completely up to us and how we treat and think about ourselves! Let’s end things with a very relevant quote by Serena herself, “People don’t tell you who you are, you tell them.”
S & B
Note: We do not own any of the pictures used in this post