This week’s topic has become such a norm that no one even cares to address it. It’s about status and how many of us are forced into thinking that we aren’t “cool” because we didn’t attend a party or major event that everyone else seems to be bragging about.
It is a bright Monday morning. You have your breakfast and head out the doors to go to your school or workplace. Once you get there, you sit down and then….you hear some juicy gossip:
“Can you believe so and so hooked up with so and so?!”
“Are they like seeing each other now?”
“That party was so lit!”
“I can’t believe that actually happened! It’s insane!”
“I had so much fun this weekend! We should do it again!”
And all of a sudden you feel your heart sinking as you wonder, “Why did I not hang out with them this weekend?” or “Why was I not even invited?” and several other thoughts.
You know that you’ve never done anything to make someone dislike you, so why are you not invited to these amazing parties and events? What makes you different from the others? Do they think you’re not “fun enough” ? Or if you are invited, why do you not choose to go only to regret it the next day when you see Instagram posts and Snapchat stories?
Well, the truth is that in the world of social media, we see something online and we begin to let that take over our mind with doubt, regret, loneliness, and the fear of being left out today and tomorrow. But why should you let one picture you see online make you feel depressed? Maybe you didn’t have a “lit” weekend in the sense that you didn’t get drunk and have their kind of “fun.” Rather you might have had YOUR own version of a “lit” weekend. Reflect on that. What did you do this weekend? Parties and alcohol and a room full of potential hookups can’t be the only things that give you joy. Maybe it was accomplishing something while you worked a couple of hours? Maybe it was spending more time with your family and close friends? Maybe it was just you giving yourself some much needed “Me Time” ? It could be any small thing that made you happy. Also it is VERY important to note that sometimes what you see on social media isn’t the full story. EVERYTHING can look fun and amazing when posted online. But was it really that good offline? Who knows! Social media has a way of making us believe stuff that isn’t true. Just because someone looks happy online does not mean that they aren’t going through any problems in real life. Never fall prey to deceiving social media posts.
Another person’s party/event does not mean that you did not have fun or that you don’t belong with that certain group. As sad as it is, nowadays people feel like they “need” to go to parties to be “in the group” otherwise, you will be left on the sidelines. You don’t need to go and get drunk and smoke and hook up with people because you feel like you “need to” in order to have fun with the rest of the group. Do what makes YOU happy and not what you THINK will make OTHERS happy. It is so important to live your life with no regrets because they can weigh you down and make you second guess every decision you make. So, remember to live a life that you would be happy to remember when you’re older so that your memories aren’t filled with parties you felt forced to go to and hookups you didn’t really want to have! Thinking about what YOU want will also bring the right types of people into your life and can make those feelings of regret from not going to a party with the popular crowd vanish! So be YOURSELF and everything will fall into place!
Nowadays people feel like they need to Snapchat and Instagram every bit of their fun night and show others what a great time they’re having. While posting 2-3 pictures is reasonable, aggressively snapchatting your friends and/or acquaintances who are not at the same party/event as you, will most likely make them feel left out (unless they, themselves, ASK you to send them 100 snaps at a time!). It is so important to be mindful and respectful in that sense. If you have a friend who does this constantly, ask them if you can join in on the next party or event with them and see if it is an environment that you like! If it is, you’ll make new friends and you will be a part of those Snapchat stories next time but if not, you’ll know that there was nothing to miss out on in the first place! Just remember to put yourself out there so you can find out what you want and that way you will never feel down about not attending a party or event!
Sometimes people will do things that make you feel left out, things that bring you down and make you feel like you’re missing something. In those moments understand that you are bigger than some party/event that happened on the weekend. You don’t need invitations 24/7 and you don’t need a group of 20 friends to be your squad all the time. When it comes to friendships it is ALWAYS quality over quantity. Friends should make other friends feel included, uplift them when they are sad and stand by them through every uphill and downhill in life. There’s more to life than a party that happened on the weekend.
In fact YOUR life is your OWN party! Live it, enjoy it, dance around and be happy! You only get one life, why waste it worrying and letting yourself down because someone didn’t care to invite you or because you regret turning down what you suppose would have been a fun time. Life is bigger than regrets and low feelings. Overcome those emotions and keep your head up. Find your own fun and surround yourself with people who truly love YOU.
S & B
Note: We do not own any of the pictures used in this post.